We’ve all been on the receiving end of written communication that can be interpreted as condescending, making us feel disrespected. Often, the communication intensifies the original problem, the opposite of the desired effect. Perhaps the sender’s attempts at being direct and straightforward were misinterpreted, or maybe they were in a hurry and didn’t consider the impact of their words and punctuation choices. The result is the same: Instead of bringing clarity to the situation, they’ve dug an even deeper hole.

I always try to carefully consider my words, type treatments and punctuation before I send an email, often asking for a peer review before hitting send. A few phrases I have learned to use sparingly:

• Obviously…
• As I have said before…
• As you are no doubt aware…
• To put it simply…

These are a few verbal cues that imply the reader is slow picking up the message. Likewise, using all caps, too many exclamation points or a rainbow of colors can suggest the sender doesn’t think the the recipient speaks the language.

No matter how frustrated you are, or how many times you’ve made your point, respectful communication gets better results. Treating others with respect may not solve the problem at hand, but in my opinion, it does foster a positive and cooperative environment.