We all have to have hard conversations from time to time. While you can’t control the outcome, I’ve learned over the years that you can take a few steps to set yourself up for success, or at least a more positive and productive discussion.
The first thing I always consider is timing, which can be almost as important as the subject matter you are discussing. Take a moment and decide if you are approaching the conversation out of impulse, before you’ve had time to gather all the information necessary, or in a moment when the other party won’t be able to give the matter the right kind of attention. If any of these situations apply, resist the urge to jump in, and wait for the right moment, or at minimum, a better one.
Next, I try to put the focus on the other person. It can be so hard to listen when you have a lot to say, but taking that time, and maybe even focusing on empathy, almost always leads to a more positive discussion. If you can exercise this kind of control when you have to face tough matters head on, the results are far more lasting. You’re giving yourself the opportunity to build relationships, the thing that truly sustains us.
Just yesterday, I had a challenging situation arise at a project we are building in the Carolinas. When I got on the phone, the first thing we did was visit briefly about family. My interest was genuine, but it did serve to diffuse the situation a bit. We were then able to solve the differences much more easily. Before we hung up, I shared with our customer how much I appreciate them. Tough situations, when handled properly, can weave a pretty good relationship.
