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We work in an industry where conflict is common. Our project team regularly works with owners, developers, architects, engineers, subcontractors and more. These contributors are all advocating for different phases of the project and goals. The good news is, we have a common vision. We might just have different thoughts on how to get there.

So how do we resolve these conflicts while respecting our fellow team members? To me, the first key is listening. Often times, people are frustrated because they don’t feel their perspective has been considered. When you say, “Tell me more,” and take the time to really listen, you’re already on the road to resolution. For me, the next step is a technique I learned a long time ago called “reflect to connect.” The idea is that you acknowledge the other person’s emotion or argument by saying it back them. While you’re not necessarily agreeing with them, it does make people feel seen and create a common ground for discussing. Often that’s all we need to start moving in the right direction. It’s something I need to remind myself of routinely.

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Merrill Stewart is Founder and CEO of The Stewart/Perry Company, a commercial building contractor based in Birmingham.